sometimes it comes back to me
Sushi. Sushi is what we almost always met for...at Koryo. Not all that long ago, he and I would meet there for a late night meal at least a couple times a month -- sometimes more. We met at Koryo with so much frequency that I remember some of the servers seemed to know that when one of us walked in, the other would almost surely follow. And when we'd finally both arrive, it wouldn't be any ordinary night of sushi -- it would be an epic night-filled with serious sushi eating. We most definitely contributed to Koryo's bottom line -- one, two, five, nine...maybe more sushi rolls ordered and sampled at one sitting. No, we didn't usually finish ALL the rolls we ordered. There were SOME leftovers...I mean it wasn't all about stuffing our faces with more and more sushi. I mean, it kind of was because we'd oftentimes turn eating sushi into dares...little challenges to keep things interesting. But what I believed these sushi eating sessions to be was two friends spending some time together -- mostly laughing with some challenges and some random commentary about almost anything under the sun. There was really no subject forbidden especially when the subject matter could be turned into some kind of wisecrack of some sort spoken with a random accent. Then he moved away...I think it was a year ago now that he moved away. He didn't move THAT far away but it might as well have been a continent that separated us. Along with his fading presence in my life came what felt like a waterfall of events that have redefined who I am and how I live my life -- second to second.
Tonight. Tonight we met for sushi. It has been almost a year since I had given it up...this whole thing -- sushi...one of my favorite food groups. Only in dreams and thoughts have I savored the textures and flavors and rush of wasabi-laden, soy sauce dipped, ever so perfectly sliced pieces of fish decorated with more fish and sometimes unidentified sauces that burned our eyes just inhaling the vapors they exuded when entering our proximity.
In all honesty, I didn't know what to expect when we finally met. I was hopeful things would just be the way they used to. All I know is we had been planning this sushi session for weeks. When we finally both got there, I'll admit, it seemed a little strange. Over the next few minutes which turned into a few hours, it continued to get ever closer to how things used to be -- with some exceptions. The sushi ordering stopped at just a couple rolls and pieces...and the creativity of all that used to be our orders came with less gusto since I'm still restricted to eating just a handful of things on the menu. I think he thought about this before I got there -- maybe alot. It seemed he knew but he was okay with it -- I think.
Toward the end...when I showed him my new digs and we got to talking about bike rides he'd be sure to go on with me...troubleshooting a couple bike "issues" (and fixing them! Yay!), a sampling of cookies I had laying about my kitchen (he liked the salt...the fleur de sel atop the chocolate hazelnut macaroons and some ginger snaps to take with him for his morning chai on the way to work), I realized things were just different between us. We had changed...forced or natural as it is or was, important parts of who we are became better than we were. And by the VERY end, whatever good and bad, or sadness (I) we shared turned into the laughter I had been missing since the last time we crossed paths at Koryo... But really, what is really telling is a year ago, we wouldn't have been able to stop at just three rolls! I wonder if next time we'll show this restraint...as I slowly roll out of all things kryptonite, maybe, quite possibly, we'll be able to roll back into all things unagi -- how I miss you so...
Soon, he says...a bike ride. He didn't say there'd be sushi. But I assumed there'd be sushi. I mean how can there not be sushi? I'm quite sure there will be laughter.
The ice has been broken...and what is important, I think... has come back to me like it has never left. His presence -- it's here again.