cycling is life.

I CRASHED!  On my cute, purple road bike. DOWN.  A man masquerading (albeit badly cuz his form was all wrong and he was breaking all the basic rules of the road) as a RUNNER decided to break into my path....ME, riding in a fine, straight line (I'll mention here...I ride deliberately.  No sudden changes.  I don't waiver), down an 8% grade...the fake runner  looking right at me and thinking..."well, she can slow DOWN! (which is actually what the nurse and I heard him ranting when we finally made it to the hospital). She is on a bike!  And I ALWAYS run out in front of moving vehicles of all sorts and they can slow DOWN to a halt! :O  (He did not actually say that but I decided that had to be what he was thinking) sigh...with less than 10 feet separating the two of us...my fate was decided.  DOWN, as he pushes me into the curb with his arm, foot stepping on my front rim. DOWN, as his right shoulder connects with my left cheekbone. DOWN, as the right side of my face is shoved and then dragged across the sidewalk.  DOWN as my right hip hit the curb and my right leg  slid across the asphalt. That is where my perfectly amazing farewell ride with one of my very few friends from NYC and only riding partner ended.  We had just parted ways up there at the George Washington Bridge... a hug and a kiss on the cheek as I rode away and said, "I'll see you later tonight!"   I was less than 5 minutes from where Carolyn and I left each other, content, but a little sad cuz I knew Carolyn was going to move away NYC in just a few days...a little welling up in my eyes but I was focused as I got myself going down that hill..just a quick 6 miles back to where I had parked Smiley, my car. I had just gotten through that first turn on the hill, on the straightaway to the next little turn when that "runner" runs out into the middle of one of the  busiest streets -- the only street, that goes all the way up from Hoboken up to the GW on the west side of the Hudson.  He's standing there, negotiating, I realize that now-- right there, smack dab in the middle of the street where he shouldn't be in the first place. I saw what was about to happen.  Then it was happening!  He darted in forward...and I think, I'm going to go down.  I don't even have time to swerve into traffic and DIE.  I am just going to  go down, right here.  There is history right there.  My first ever accident on my bike...on ANY bike, ever!

It took awhile for the police to arrive.  SHOOT...it took even longer for the ambulance to arrive which, I guess, gave me time to come to...I sent off a couple of texts I didn't remember ever sending. I tried to stand -- DIZZY...I won't do that...then I dragged myself over to this conveniently placed stairwell. "DON'T.TOUCH.MY.BIKE." I remember saying that.  I said it more than once to that fake runner. Sigh. He said, "Oh, that's a nice bike." AGAIN, I sigh. I'm sure I wanted to glare...but in FACT, my eye was swelling shut and well, I don't think I could glare even if I really wanted to cuz the entire right side of my body was tingling and swelling!  Then this nice cycler comes over...finally!  Someone who will make sense of stuff!  All I know is nobody who could do anything about my swelling head would've come at ALL  had that fellow cycler not ridden up.

That cycler...that nice man who asked me what I needed and leaned my head up against the staircase to keep my head out of the sun.  That nice man whom I looked at and said, "I'd be in debt to you if you went to find my car."  I handed this stranger my keys. He took down my info.  Texted me his phone number. Said his name was Raul...THEN the policeman came just as Raul asked me, "what about your bike? I think I should take it up to the bike store.  It'll be safe there."  That's when the policeman walked up and said, "that bike isn't going anywhere with you. I'll take it."  Little did he know...I just gave that nice man the keys to Smiley!  I entrusted that cycler with finding and driving Smiley to a safe place.

Then the ambulance arrived...finally! The EMT lady was funny.  I remember that, fully. She said that runner was  being a baby all whining about his dislocated shoulder as I laid there quietly on the stretcher while she assessed how serious all the head trauma was.

Then we drove away... I saw my cute purple bike leaning up against the stairwell railing through the back door window. My bike... I thought, I wonder if I will ever see you again?  Good bye!

In the last few days, since the CRASH, I have come to realize why I haven't had so much to say about food or about the food I make for the people I love. Well... I still create new things. I still go through bouts when my peoples on the West Coast find chocolate girl deliveries on their doorsteps. I still feed a few people I love every now and again.  But those times are few and far between.  There are just a few...less than 5, actually, people out this way whom I love to feed the things that come out of my kitchen...and well today, actually, there is one fewer now that Carolyn is on a plane to Hong Kong.  And well, I also used to use my food blog as a way to communicate with my people during the times when it was difficult for them to know if I was even OK...or alive.  I just haven't really had words for most of my experiences since I've been here.  Everything is new. Everything is changing.  It's good. Yes. But I don't know what to call it yet.  Once in a while there's some moments of clarity but not a whole lot of words ...and those moments are almost always when I'm riding my bike...then I move forward.

These days...my days out here living around and working in New York...have really become about me and my bike.  How I move forward when I am able to get out and turn those pedals for as long as my body will let me - no matter how hot and humid...no matter how cold and bone chilling -- I will do what I can to turn those pedals.  And lately, I've been able to turn those pedals a lot longer and a lot farther.  I am well and strong in a way I don't think I have been since before I turned 20.  Sure...I'm actually pretty old now...but it has been since those pre-20 days when I felt and looked really strong and well...healthy.

I found my bike today.  It was where the policeman said it would be -- at the Edgewater Police Station.  Everybody told me I wouldn't find it...and then they'd say, it's probably time for a new bike anyways.  They remind me, I've been riding this bike for 6 years now.  It's my first road bike.  But then I say, look how far it has taken me - all the way to New York and all the way to thriving!  I drove my bike straight to the bike store so they could take a look at it and tell me what it will take or if I will never ride it again -- new bike. But I realized today, driving away from the bike store that maybe this is just another new chapter in my life.  My cute, purple bike served its purpose.  It got me through a lot of days when I didn't know if I could make it for one minute longer.  And well... I've made it through a lot of minutes since those days.  And now? Now, it just may be time for a new bike to get me to wherever it is I'm going and well... I'm ready now. In those few minutes when I was driving away from the bike store... I'm ready because I know now..Cycling is life.